The Time Machine

Have you ever lost something so precious to you for the same reasons that you wanted it so bad?

It's been 58 years.
58 years that I've lived my life and I've felt that I missed every moment of it.
In that same 58 years, I've accomplished a lot of things
any other man would've only dreamed of.

Look at Ma and Pa, oh~ I was so lucky they're my parents.
Having been brought into this world with genes more desireable than the rest.
They are well rounded people. They are exceptionally bright as well as they are beautiful.
Lucky enough, I've inherited all of their qualities. Oh I was a dashing man in my 20s as I was in my 30s, you see.

I was brought up into the world. With a relatively happy family.
They've given me the best education money can buy.
And every little needs and wants a boy could have.
Of course, I never failed them.
I graduated college, with honors.
Companies were after me when I graduated, and it was no time at all
that I had a pretty stable job.


Years later, I've acquired enough money to start my own company.
And a couple more years, I was earning more than I could ever spend.

I was living the dream.
Pssh~
A dream.
It all sounds so desireable.
And everything about it seems to cause a blank rift
in that span of 58 years.
I was living the dream, yes.
But all along dreams aren't enough to keep you going
to live a life.

It's been 42 years, since I met her.
And it's been 40 years that I lost her.
The only woman in the world to have ever made me realize that such a life
is best lived.
And yet, here I am...
Living my hypocrisy.

We were young. Passionate.
And with all purity of love and passion,
We loved.
Everyday was a day worth living.
Everyday, a new day perhaps.
But then again, why did I ever lose her then.
Perhaps it was not all good.
Of course, we were human.
With human flaws and undesireabilities.
And that my own has caused her to distance.
That I couldn't fix that very flaw.
But How in GOD's name was I able to live this very life!

40 years ago, it was late july.
We had a fight of such human flaw.
Distance made.
Oh feelings were dying.
The passions of anger have taken over.
The heat of the moments have caused such words
to be said. Such actions dealt. Such goodbyes meant.
She would never give me another chance, I thought.
But I wanted to fix what was wrong in me.
Such an asshole I was.
And such a disgrace I be.

It's been 40 years since then. 40 years of regret.
I have changed for the better. I've lived a life of dream.
But she's never coming back to see things changed.
She's never going back to me.